Who am I?

This is who I think I am 

Inspired by 3 a.m. thoughts here I go..

My name is Mafer, I'm 18 years old & I'm still searching who I am in a daily basis but until now this
is who I think I am..

I'm a person with a goal in mind that doesn't think only of personal interests, if not marking the difference by making a positive impact in the world & other people's life. I'm a person with one main purpose in life, to help others but essentially get to the heart of the issue for the world stopping the need of  help.  

People describes me as a sentimental person with a high inborn morality & I can't deny that facts. I fight for my principles & what I believe that's right even though most of the masses don't think the same as I do. We need to use our creativity, sensibility, imagination & conviction not for our own pleasures, but in service of society. We we're created in this world not to isolate in a bubble of ours, if not to socialize, love & help each others to be better versions. 

I may be wrong, but I truly believe that softening people's heart with love & compassion is the best way to create a better world. God says in 1 Peter 4: 8 "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." We don't live in paradise because each one of us had sin & it's inalienable to our souls, but we can try to not fall & raise up to make good & love others. It's our decision whether to be selfish & destructive, or to walk in the light. 

I'm the type of person that loves others company, but also enjoy time by myself. I like to speak softly, warm & in a sensitive way to others making them happy. I appreciate when they do the same, but over time I get disappointed with some that I start to have low expectations remaining with one though only: 'Do without expecting in return' which makes my life delighted. Still I'm not going to deny that I like to help other people to find solutions to their problems or give to those that can never return the favor back. (even though with a simple smile, or words they actually deliver joy to me & that's the best present to give back)

I can be very light, open minded while making or doing things in a daily basis, but when things do really matter & needs to be done right I am what's called a perfectionist freak. I can't stand the we tried when the goal includes helping others. If your going to do something that matters, do it right. 

When it comes to relationships I am really picky, because I'm not looking for a good moment to spend beside someone. I'm looking to someone truly genuine & authentic which I can really connect with. After there is a connection don't think that will only be physically, if not spiritually. I'm not afraid of loving unconditionally, once I found someone that I truly care about I'm an open diary with a special key for that special someone. A bond of body, mind & soul. 

It's pleasing to me just to go out, have a walk & listen to other people's stories creating different perspective & overviews about life. I'm surly the type of person that will be there for a lot of people. Most of the time a lot of humans open themselves to me & I'm there for them, but I just open myself truthfully to few that I can barely count with my fingers. I will always share jokes with everyone, but when it comes to real conversations the one's that I really like to get deep with subjects I find meaningful are rare. 

I have few true friends, but I may say that quality is better then quantity. I may say that I had friends standing by my side since kinder-garden & will remain there even in graves. While growing up, you don't care about how much likes, friends, or the amount of virtual friends list do you have because it's not really, it's a fiction over a screen & mind of being loved. So, even if you only have one friend, treasure it until the end of times, because they are extincting. 

I started university when I was sixteen years old. I'm not going to be dishonest I never though by a second during my thirteen years of school that I would be studying law. I always saw myself as an Architect during ten years of my life, in tenth grade I started doubting that. I didn't knew if I would be that good, if I was that creative & at the same time if I will really helped people. 

I started thinking about careers that will really make a difference or help people. The list was like being in the film-making/communication industry, to make people conscious about the world that we live in by an indirect method. Even psychology to contribute to other people happiness. If you're wondering why doctor isn't included..I assure you that I'm definitively not made for that path because I'm afraid of blood. 

After a while I went to this event called HACIA Democracy which I though it was one of the best experiences that I had in my life. People had told me that I was a good writer & speaker that I could captivates other peoples heart, a different & unique style. I didn't actually believed all of that, until that trip I made with dozens of teens from all America.  I felt marvelous, exceptional, like never before..I did enjoyed public speaking, I enjoyed solving problems & finding solutions to them. Even though this event was more inclined to international relationships, I wanted something similar where I could do this things & help the world. So, that's when I went for law, for a most justice world, helping others by solving their problems.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes I question my decision because I don't want to miss other experiences, but I think that God is by my side & has a purpose for me that I'm willing to accomplished don't matter what. I'm designed to be a leader of society to guide them to good, but with no power at all. 

I love to grow beside the people that I helped & to contribute to humanity, because most of the time we learn more of others than what they learn about us. 

I still have a world ahead me, so much to learn, experience & explore. I still have time to discover myself, because everyday we get to know ourselves a little more. 

Don't worry if you don't  have a clue of who you are, I don't actually think anybody get to knows themselves completely. Overtime you will discover who you are & what are God's plans for you. Be patience, love yourself  & love others. Don't worry if you fail, or make the wrong decisions in life because in the end all the experiences will build you in a better person. We are all made to be leaders, not followers. So make a change, be different, be you & change the world. 

'Let all that you do be done in love' 1 Corinthians 16: 14